


If The Stars Align

by Fallenfae



Series: Warriors shipfics [4]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, I came up with the concept in an afternoon, Jayfeather is a dad, Past Relationship(s), Ship Manifesto, The power of three au, Time Travel, Warriors AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26128969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenfae/pseuds/Fallenfae
Summary: Jayfeather messes up in the original tribe's timeline and has kits. What happens when one follows him home, when she is destined to save the tribe?
Relationships: Half Moon/Jayfeather (Warriors)
Series: Warriors shipfics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887913
Comments: 17
Kudos: 52





	1. Blood is thicker than water

No one ever really warns you of the complications of life.

For example, Jayfeather had never thought he'd ever have kits. Didn't really work out in his favour when he accidentally had a litter with Halfmoon.

She was curled up in a bush just outside her cave, feeding three kits. One was stark white, another cream-silver, and the last was a light grey. The last, smallest one - the runt, most likely, was an odd one to be sure. She was the only cat Jayfeather - or, Jay's wing on this occasion, had ever seen with two different coloured eyes.

Surely, he'd never really _seen_ any cat's eyes at all, but since he'd regained his sight, he knew only of cats with the same hued eyes. Halfmoon seemed just as surprised.

"One green...and one blue. Isn't that astonishing?" She stared, brushing an outstretched paw against the tiny one's head. Jayfeather couldn't do much but stare. Did they count as legal kits? He wasn't exactly a medicine cat here, but then again...he didn't live here either. Clearing his throat, he stepped forwards. "Will you keep them?" He mused. Halfmoon nodded wildly. "Of course! I was already going to, but I had an odd dream yesterday that solidifies this." She hummed, ears folding back. Jayfeather listened curiously. Why hadn't he had a vision? Why Halfmoon?

"Go on," he urged. "What was it?"

Halfmoon curled her tail around the kits as they suckled on her. She purred. "I had a vision. A strange, ghostly cat made their way up to me and told me something. The oddest encounter I've ever had, really." If he wasn't on the edge of his seat before, he was now - anxiously staring at his….were they mates? Mates, for simplicity's sake. "What did they say?"

"They said they came down from the heavens to guide us. The tribe, I mean. They were waiting a long time for us to come, and now that we have, they're settling with us." She explained, eyes fixated on her little ones. "They sent us three. Each one with a special power. One with tooth and claw of steel, to fight to the very end and win every time." She flickered her gaze along the three, pondering - which one was this one?

Jayfeather stared. This sounded an awful lot like Firestar's prophecy. Halfmoon continued. "One with wits of an owl, vision that stretches far into the future and judgement of a wise elder." This sounded far too familiar. Were Starclan reusing prophecies, or was this one just...never fulfilled?

"And one," Halfmoon nuzzled her kits, "who can see all, hear all. She would be able to sense the tribe of endless hunting - that's what they called it, anyway - through the pool." Halfmoon's gaze flickered up to Jayfeather, whom was quivering in his spot, eyes fixated hazily on the kits squirming against their mother's hold. "I'm guessing they mean the pool in the cave, right? I knew it was sacred."

"I need to take a breather." Jayfeather inhaled, turning away from the silver she-cat as she watched, confused. He tread far from the bush, his heart thumping in his chest. This was too similar to his own destiny. Were there two sets of powered cats? Time was an odd thing to play around with. Regardless, he still had a fate to fix here, and would have to set the tribe up for success. There was no bailing out now.

~~~

A few days had passed agonizingly slow. The tribe, contrary to Jayfeather's belief, had accepted Halfmoon and her kits. Perhaps he had been so hung up on his own clan's code that it slipped his mind that this tribe didn't have a code yet.

It was tiring to finally be able to see - to have a _family_ and be able to fight and hunt and do all these things he'd only been able of dreaming to do, and yet still have to work endlessly on organizing, not being allowed to lift a claw to do the things he's always wanted to try.

This particular day, he had spent hours upon hours trying to recall the hierarchy of the - was it fair to call them apprentices? Whatever they were. What he disliked the most was the idea of his kits growing up in a tribe where he could never see them again. 

Halfmoon had named them. Only the prefixes of course, after Jayfeather's insistence - if only to at least pretend he was in Thunderclan. He would quietly call them Thunderclan names.

Eclipse - the eldest she-cat. She was the stark white kit, although she did have a few splotches of blue-black on her, particularly her face in the form of freckles and such. 

Pebble - the cream-silver kit. He was small, but would easily fill up as he grew older. He had stripes, a slender tail - Jayfeather's figure in general.

The last one, Dove - the kit with two different eyes. She was a light grey striped she-cat, fluffy and small. From what she showed as a kit, she was quite the squirmer.

Jayfeather wondered, looking down on his kits, if Brambleclaw felt the same looking at him and his siblings. It was a nice feeling on surface level. Maybe it wouldn't have been tainted if he knew he had to go.

The day has passed and gone, adding a day to the weeks in which he lived in the tribe. He had had a long day, and had excused the three kits to come out and play with him just outside the cavern. They had happily obliged, trampling over one another as they skittered to their father. Jayfeather stifled a smile. 

"Hello, little ones." He rumbled quietly as he leaned over to match their height. Pebble pawed his father's face. "You workin' all day, Jay's wing?" He mewed, sitting upright. Jayfeather endearingly noted his kits were only as tall as half his leg. He nodded. "All day. I could use a break."

Eclipse had been climbing Jayfeather's back, nimbly heaving herself up. Dove just watched, ears twitching. She seemed a little bothered. Jayfeather made his way over to Dove, curling around her, leaving Eclipse to tumble off her father's back. Pebble skittered over to join them. "Father, what do you do all day, anyway?" Pebble squeaked, his tail lashing to and fro. Jayfeather licked the tom-kit's head. "I don't think you'd be very interested." Pebble shook his head, shaking off his father. "I would! I want to hear about your work!"

Eclipse faked a gag. "You're a _nerd,_ Pebble!" She giggled. Pebble seethed, fur bristling. "Am not!" 

"Are too!"

Jayfeather calmed the two down by shushing Eclipse with his tail-tip, amused with their antics, completely unaware Halfmoon had been quietly watching from afar.

"Well," she hummed to herself. "He'll be a great father."

~~~

It was cool under the cover of night. Maybe a little hazy - a little lonely, leaving his family behind. A lot lonely. 

Jayfeather brushed against cold, dewy grass - early spring had that frozen effect. The plants were too high for him to see clearly through.

He hadn't even said goodbye. 

They were sleeping, from what he'd seen. 

Now he had to find the tunnel before the break of dawn, and it's proven to be quite the challenge - but he found it. A gaping hole in the ground, surrounded by dirt instead of grass. It was deep, that's for certain, and from it a hum of the cave that warned of the magical capabilities of the tunnels it concealed. Jayfeather felt like he was being….watched.

Nevertheless, he made his way in. It was dark. Murky, even. And no matter how big the tunnels grew, the medicine cat always felt a deep rooted claustrophobia. A little bit of nausea, as well.

A few twists and turns in, Jayfeather perked his ears to the echoing in the damp cavern. The sensation of not being able to see was normal for him, so instead he used his nose, and-

Fuck. Someone was following him. Someone he knew.

He would play it safe. Make it out the other side, then his senses would be restored and he could figure it out. Hopefully it wasn't bad…

As soon as he squeezed through the tight-fit exit, he inhaled the fresher air. It had a familiar twinge to it. Home.

But the question still remained.

Turning to the figure behind him, he sniffed, tasting the scent through his maw. Milk. Fresh fur, that of a kit's….oh Starclan. He didn't have to hold his breath for long.

"Hi daddy!" A voice squeaked. Jayfeather stared blankly into the nothingness. "Dove…" he meowed, panic in his tone. "Oh Starclan. Dovekit."

"Dovekit? That one's new!" She giggled. Jayfeather shook his head, heart thumping loudly in his chest. "Why did you follow me?" He hissed quietly, and immediately the kit knew she was in deep trouble. She shuffled her paws nervously. "W-well, I was curious…"

"Curiosity kills the cat," Jayfeather mumbled, slumping over. "You can't _get back,_ Dovekit." He searched for a reason to explain why the portal shut without mentioning it being a portal. "The tunnels are too tight."

"What?" Dovekit squeaked. "I can't...I can't get back?" Jayfeather shook his head. "It's alright. I'll take you back….where I live, I suppose. It's just like the tribe but...I go by Jayfeather here. Not Jay's Wing. And no one can know we're related, alright? I'll get you a new mother." Jayfeather rambled, heart thumping. Would she even oblige? He hoped so. Dovekit nodded. "I'll….i'll just be quiet, okay?"

Great. Now Jayfeather had to roll with Dovekit being an abandoned kitten. 

Safe to say, it wasn't an easy ride.


	2. Drifting away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayfeather finds a living situation for Dovekit.

It felt like time hadn't passed at all since he'd been gone. Maybe it hadn't. The sky was still the same dreary periwinkle, littered with wispy clouds that seemed to ruin any sunshine that dared seep through. The lake was still silent, unmoving - like a mirror pool. And as Jayfeather traversed the land, Dovekit on his back, he recognised the same scents, the same dull, humid air that pressed against his sides and ruffled his fur.

He would have to be careful with what he said, and given how little Dovekit was - barely a moon, really - she would have forgotten her life by the time she was apprenticed.

Now. What should her backstory be?

Jayfeather couldn't exactly come back home with a kit in hand, claiming she was his daughter. They wouldn't believe him, even if he did have her confirmation. To them, he'd been gone only for a few hours. And even if they _did_ believe him, he would be as much of an outcast as any other code breaker. Maybe exiled.

Hm…

He felt the airs shift. The area was different now. He was nearby the forest, where most of the shrubbery, berries, and herbs were collected. It was also, coincidentally, where rogues had their kits…

...Perfect!

The stench was immediately identifiable. If he rolled Dovekit in their nests, he could claim she was a kit left behind by a she-cat with a litter one too big to travel safely with. Dovekit was fast asleep by this point - she hadn't gone to sleep when she was meant to, following Jayfeather instead, so she wouldn't notice nor be able to speak out once they reached Thunderclan camp.

Twisting so that she would slip off his back and into his maw safely, he made his way sleekly into the cluster of trees, dearly hoping he would not be caught. Deeper, deeper…

Once he'd reached far enough, the scent of loner cats filled the air. If his nose was right, then a she-cat had just left a few mornings prior. Nosing into the bush she'd nested in, he gagged internally, rolling Dovekit in the moss. 

It took a while, but it was well worth it once Dovekit smelled more like a loner than a soft kit. Picking up the sleeping kitten, he licked her head. The only thing he could really do now is hope the clan wouldn't see a resemblance. 

The medicine cat nudged his way through the forest and out onto the meadow, having memorized the path since he was an apprentice, until he'd caught scent of the entrance of camp. Pushing through the ivy hanging in guard of the entry way, jayfeather heard the cluttering clammor of the clans everyday life. With a shaky exhale, Jayfeather took Dovekit to the medicine den, relieved no one had asked anything - if not, not even seen him. He nestled her cozily into his mossbed.

He could feel her small frame curling up for warmth and could only _imagine_ how helpless she could look.

"Who's that?" Leafpool mewed, behind him. Ears perking, Jayfeather turned to face her - imagining her figure standing in the centre of the den. He exhaled. "A loner kit." He simply responded. No details needed. They only complicate things.

"A...loner kit?" Leafpool repeated, voice closer now. She was clearly suspending his disbelief, eyes fixed on the small silver kitten. "How _old_ is she?"

"A moon, give or take. She doesn't seem to..." Jayfeather's ears pressed back. He felt he was abandoning Halfmoon. Maybe he was. "Well," he continued. "Have a mother."

Leafpool nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're back, because Whitewing is having her kits _now._ " Jayfeather could hear the urgency in her voice. "But what about…?"

"Get Briarlight to watch her. " Leafpool urged, grabbing a mouthful of herbs, having been set in a bundle. Jayfeather followed in her steps, catching scent of Briarlight, surely passing him by further into the den.

Whitewing was miserable. A kind of miserable that promised sunny skies afterwards, her strained groaning filtered with cries of pain as she pushed on through, Birchfall at her side, tail curled around her as she convulsed. Jayfeather exhaled. Whitewing reminded him of Halfmoon. Maybe…

Two kits. Small, squirming sisters. One white with gray tabby spots, and the other resembled Birchfall to a T. 

The only bad part…

She was stillborn. Frozen. Dead on arrival. Leafpool said she couldn't breathe and subsequently died. Whitewing shook, sobbing into Birchfall's hold, tail curled around the remaining tabby to keep her safe. Jayfeather didn't know what to do. Both of them had been born far too prematurely - it was only natural the first wouldn't have enough energy to make it through the process. 

He knew it was selfish of him, but he couldn't help but thank Starclan Halfmoon hadn't misscarried. Perhaps it was a blessing she'd given birth sucessfully, to save the tribe.

Oh.

_Jayfeather took one of the three._

This was bad. But he clearly couldn't return, not without Rock's permission - and he was long gone who knows where. He had to adjust.

Leafpool stood there with Dovekit in her maw. Jayfeather hadn't even noticed she'd left, but she had. "Here, Whitewing." She meowed soothingly, setting Dovekit in her hold. "Jayfeather found this kitten outside. She doesn't have a mother and needs milk. You can have her." 

Whitewing choked on a stifled sob, gasping. "Oh my Starclan, she looks just like this little one…" she cried. "I'll have her." She pushed the kitten towards her belly. 

This was harder than Jayfeather ever thought.

"Dove!" He blurted. His ears folded down at the realization that everyone was staring now. He cleared his throat. "That's her name. She told me before she fell asleep."

Leafpool raised a brow. "Alright, I suppose. Dovekit."

Whitewing gave an airless laugh, pulling her closer. Her emotions were so muddled Jayfeather couldn't tell if she was happy or depressed. He hoped Dovekit would be safe.

Leafpool had already started picking up everything she had brought, cleaning up after herself when the kit woke up. "Jay...Feather!" She yawned, heaving herself onto her wobbly legs. "Where am I?"

"Thunderclan. You'll be safe here. Whitewing will be your new mother. You have a sister, as well."

Dovekit hardly seemed to be paying attention. "Down here, silly! What are you looking at?"

Jayfeather blankes with a sigh. "I'm blind, Dovekit. I can't see."

Before the exchange could continue, Whitewing was already calling Dovekit back over. She shrugged, waving Jayfeather before she left. 

~~~

It was hot. Too hot. No one was here anymore. Everyone was gone, and it was too hot here. Hollyleaf by his side, Lionblaze at the other - at least, that's what he could make out through the ashy scent. Squirrelflight called out pitifully, calling them over.

But someone blocked the way. Squirrelflight screamed, Lionblaze tensed. Hollyleaf breathed quietly. "Ashfur."

And although he couldn't see anything, it was as if his vision was restored just for that one moment. He could tell, through the flames, the ash and cinder, that Ashfur held the most malice and evil in his eyes than he'd ever known.

~~~

Maybe his situation wasn't as abnormal as he'd thought. Minus the entire time travel ordeal, of course, but nevertheless. 

Dovekit and her sister, Ivykit played in his visinity. He could hear their giggles, their playful laughter. No one knew of what troubled him.

Perhaps it was hypocritical of him to despise Leafpool and Squirrelflight as much as he did. But it didn't change anything to realize the hypocrisy. Jayfeather knew he was blind, but he couldn't change it regardless.

He hoped dearly that Dovekit would not hate him as he hates his mother. Mothers? Both of them. 

He didn't speak to her anymore. He shut himself off from everyone but his siblings and his daughter. He wouldn't tell them of his daughter, considering how they reacted towards Leafpool. Would this lead him to live in a prison, or freely? They both had a cost.

This particular day was as dreary as the day he returned with Dovekit. She was about two moons old now, and hardly remembered Halfmoon at all anymore. Jayfeather dearly hoped she remembered him as her father. She was the only kin he could have.

"Dovekit," he murmured, sorting the herbs in front of him as she sat beside him, watching with interest. "You won't ever forget I'm your true father, right?" She nodded half mindedly, breathing in the new scents. "And you'll keep it a secret? You aren't…..you won't be upset?"

"Of course not, Jayfeather!" She purred, nuzzling his side. "That's a silly thing to be mad for."

Jayfeather exhaled in relief.

Tonight was the gathering, and he could put his mind at ease.

Just for tonight.


	3. Gains and Losses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You win some, you lose some.

Oh no no no no. _Fuck._ He jinxed it. He always did. It was a curse. Jayfeather could hardly think of anything more while he ran, breathlessly gasping for air as he ran as quickly as he could, head and heart and paws pounding. Hollyleaf was nevertheless quicker than both he and his brother.

She was always just out of reach.

Jayfeather couldn't see her but he could most certainly _smell_ her, a cocktail of fear and anger and hatred of the world, and she panted just as loudly. Maybe it was more Windclan blood running through her veins. 

A yelp. A crash. Jayfeather was stopped short by a grab of his scruff, tugged back and crashed against the ground and all he could hear was the rumble and clank of rocks smashing against one another and all he could smell was dust and rubble exploding against his face.

Lionblaze rushed to his brother's side, a panicked grunt escaping him. He'd tugged a little too hard. "Holy _FUCK_ , Hollyleaf---" he exhaled. Jayfeather jolted. "What? What happened, I--..."

The medicine cat's fur bristled as he realized, shooting up from his position and clumsily made his way to the source of the sound, the air growing thicker and drier as he did so, making it much harder to catch scent of his sister and he cursed the heavens for his blindness. He felt around aimlessly. "Hollyleaf? Hollyleaf, oh Starclan….Lionblaze I can't smell her! Where is she, you useless lump-- help me find her--!" He croaked, feeling himself to be the useless one. His heart pounded against his chest and he wondered if his brother could hear it, then hissed at him silently for remaining still. 

"Get up! Where is she? She's hurt Lionblaze, we don't have time for this!"

"..She was crushed, Jayfeather…" Lionblaze breathed, voice airless and desperate. Jayfeather's blood ran cold. He shook his head. "No, no no- you fucking liar. She didn't!" Jayfeather dug into the rocks, shoving them as best he could and kept his senses perked for any sense of his sister. He couldn't accept she was dead.

No, his kin count would not go down by one today. 

….Maybe this was _his_ fault. Maybe bringing Dovekit into this time period fucked with the prophecy. Maybe she took Hollyleaf's place.

He slumped in place. This _was_ his own doing. It was his fault he let himself fall in love. Have kits. It came to bite him back and maybe he deserved it - but Hollyleaf certainly did not.

Jayfeather hardly noticed his breathing fall short.

~~~~

The days went by slowly. Emptily. Not only was he burdened by his own treasonous birth, his own bastardization - but now everyone else knew as well. 

But he could deal with that. Oh, that was child's play. Jayfeather had dealt with being seen as lesser before and cast aside. What was the true hellish punishment was the absence of his sister.

He planned to tell her of Dovekit. He really did. They would have gotten along, too, he was sure of it - but Hollyleaf was always so preoccupied with stress….and well…

Great heavens, he regretted every moment of this. He regretted his birth. He would have traded his own life to give his siblings a better birth right, and he cursed the day his mother _fucked_ a Windclan scum.

Jayfeather was sitting in a moss nest hidden in the dent between the medicine den and a tree trunk. He did not want the clans sympathetic gazes, nor their uncomfortable ones, nor their pity. He just wanted his sister.

The nest was damp. He refused to leave his den for days now, not to feed himself nor have a drink. He did not care for his worldly, bodily needs. For all he cared, the prophecy could be fucked.

"Dad?"

….then again, maybe not.

Jayfeather heaved himself out of his position, glassy eyes glazed over as he made an attempt to meet his with Dovekit. She appreciated his efforts. "Is...is Hollyleaf in Starclan now?"

"She'd better be," Jayfeather exhaled. He'd grown a strong hatred towards everyone but Lionblaze and Dovekit at this point. Starclan would be their self-righteous selves and shove a bastard into hell, most likely. He hoped not anyway. Dovekit shuffled awkwardly. "I-....I'm sorry, Jayfeather. I just hoped I could…" she trailed off, searching for the right words before giving up in a slump. "Nevermind…"

Jayfeather shook his head lazily. He loved Dovekit, even throughout grieving. How pathetic that sounded. "No no, tell me." He urged, voice quiet and soft. Dovekit was much taller, that was evident now that she was pressed against his size in an attempt to make her position obvious to her father. She knew he hated the idea, but even she pitied him. She wouldn't hold it against him that he is an illegitimate child. He didn't change, not an inch in Dovekit's eyes.

"Well," she mumbled, nuzzling into him, "Ivykit and I are gonna be apprentices soon, and well -- I'm a little older than her, so I _would_ be apprentice age now, right?" She offered a weak smile. She loved him alright, but she wasn't sure he would respond well at the moment, given he was such a prickly cat by default. He pretended to be rude to her often, just not to draw any suspicion as to why he favoured her so much - but it was like a little game between them. Jayfeather tensed. "Really?" His tone shifted, and Dovekit knew he was pleased with this news. She grinned, containing herself less now, and nodded. "Yes! I'll be the best apprentice I promise. I know I won't give any honour to the family name, but...I can...I can try anyway!"

Jayfeather chuckled, a rust to it surely, but it was the first time he'd shown any sense of amusement since...well…..

He nuzzled into Dovekit. "You be the best for your own sake. Bring honour to your name - that'll be enough."

Dovekit purred, rolling onto her father's back and dangling her legs off either side of his neck until Cinderheart cleared her throat in the entrance. "Ehm, Jayfeather…? Is Dovekit bothering you?"

Dovekit felt the tom stiffen under her. He scoffed. "No. Mind your business. She's a fine kit, I'll tell you that." He snapped bitterly, tail kinking over to pat Dovekit's back in approval. Cinderheart shook her head. "It's just that...well, ehm, Brambleclaw wants to speak to her."

Jayfeather seethed quietly at the name. He couldn't blame his...well, foster father, too much - he had no idea and was fooled as badly as he was. Nevertheless he never wanted to be associated with either of the iconic bloodlines ever again. "Tsk! Of course he does." He turned to press his nose against Dovekit's face. "Careful. Tell me what happens afterwards, okay?"

"Okay!" She purred, before leaping over to the she cat's side, bouncing excitedly and out of view. 

Jayfeather felt lonely again.

~~~~~~

Something was...happening. Faintly in the distance, voices clamoured and gasped, rousing the medicine cat from his slumber, much to his distain.

Heaving himself out of his nest, he peeked out just enough to keep hidden, but catch enough context clues to realize what was happening. 

It was clearly a meeting, for one. Scents muddled, a quiet chatter and wind blocked from the enterance. The tom quietly raged that no one invited him, especially since he could tell for _certain_ that Dovekit and Ivykit were up there. Second thing he realized was, well…

"It doesn't matter what's genetic! His family's already broken, and I want to be a part of it!" Dovekit yelled, a desperate look in her eye as she stared up at Firestar. "He clearly needs me. He found me.."

Whitewing yowled aloud. "Does Birchfall mean nothing to you? He is your father!" She sounded distraught; voice cracking dryly, going silent between moments as she fought to catch her breath. Dovekit's lip curled. "The entire clan knows you only took me in because your biological daughter was a _stillborn!_ " 

Ivykit winced beside her, but said nothing. Whitewing stared, enraged. "You ungrateful kit! I brought you up from nothing, you motherless cretin! If Birchfall is not your father, neither am i your mother." She sobbed, inhaling sharply before digging her humiliated face into Birchfall's shoulder, who looked hurt. Betrayed.

Ivykit went to soothe her parents, though they did not rejoice in her loyalty. They simply _crumbled._

Dovekit flinched, though tried to stand her ground. The silence went on for years.

"Very well, Dovepaw. I grant you your wish. If Jayfeather agrees, you've gained valuable family. If he doesn't...you've lost the only one you have."


	4. Overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things change faster then you want them to. Either for good, or for bad.

It'd been a few days since the incident. 

Of course, the other apprentices had tried to stay out of Dovepaw's way in fear of upsetting her or in disgust of her disownment. Either way, the only cat Dovepaw associated with was a hesitant, shy Ivypaw.

"Mum's sad, you know." The silver cat would mumble, nosing her disowned sister's side. "She misses you but she doesn't want to admit it."

Dovepaw ignored her. She did not want to hear of Whitewing or Birchfall, she only wanted Jayfeather. If she dug through her memory deep enough, she could remember bits and pieces and vague increments of when she was barely a few moons old being taken to Thunderclan for the first time. She often found that Jayfeather was the only one to truly understand her.

"I don't care if she does," Dovepaw responded bitterly, her ears pressing against the side of her head. "She said it herself. I'm motherless."

"Gosh Dovepaw, she didn't mean it! She was just embarrassed." Ivypaw nuzzled into her sister's side, a spark of hope close to blinking out. She knew for certain her sister would not work well with a blind medicine cat of all clanmates. Her spark was remarkable, and Jayfeather would no doubt dull it. "Embarrassed that I wanted Jayfeather instead? She's not even my real mum." Dovepaw snorted in response.

Ivypaw paused, eyes wide. "And...I'm not your sister?"

"What? Of course you are." Dovepaw blinked, realizing her mistake. Nevertheless it was far too late, the hurt had already set into Ivypaw who frowned and backed away from Dovepaw. Her expression was cold, and it hit like a brick when Dovepaw realized that she'd never seen it before on her face. "It's a shame I'm not related to Jayfeather then, huh." She mumbled.

All Dovepaw could do is watch as Ivypaw settle in the nest farthest away from her, back towards Dovepaw.

She _did_ lose a sister.

\--

Dovepaw couldn't sleep. The stress of the day and the inability to relax with anyone - even Jayfeather was busy most of the time, and although she tried to help him, her duties as an apprentice had always gotten in the way. She couldn't find companionship. She guessed that perhaps that was the reason why she could hear an annoying ringing in her ear. Quiet, but loud enough to keep her awake.

Dovepaw struggled to her paws, the world swaying around her. It was nauseating, an empty pit in her stomach. _I'll walk this off, and I'll be okay._ She convinced herself, growing increasingly paranoid over something she couldn't quite explain. Swiftly but carefully she escaped the den, and soon enough she was out in the wild. Her heart pounded.

Dovepaw tried to calm herself, finding her paws leading her towards the lake she hadn't seen besides quick passings and stolen glances on hunting travels, but never took the time to truly give it the attention it deserved. She sat a few paces from the shore, her chest tight. The cooing of owls. The splash of the water licking at the ground, the squirming of rodents underneath bushes. It's all so loud. _SoloudsoloudsOLOUDSOLOU_

Jayfeather found the night quite peaceful, especially when everyone was finally asleep. It was a time for himself - and when everything was constantly in progress, he could never really catch a break. But once everyone had gone into their nests after evening patrol, his time would commence, and he could travel about the territory as he pleased, so long as he woke early enough to treat any injuries. He used to use this time to grieve, to bid farewell to his sister and curse his mother, but now he found it to be more of a thoughtful time than anything.

He'd been daydreaming when he'd heard the sound of rustling and shuffling, more so than the usual amount throughout the night. Even more damning suspicion was when he'd caught scent of a cat - fully awake and moving, and they seemed to be headed for the exit. Jayfeather could test the familiarity of their scent, and curiosity had gotten the better of him. 

The dark engulfs her, the wind-blurred pines swaying and the rattle of the breeze clog her ears, it's all too loud and she begs for a break under her breath as quietly as she could muster, as though urging the wind to blow just as soft as she did. The hourless night a swallowing void and the only thing replaying in her mind like a broken cassette tape, the scratchy background overpowered by that damned den. Was this normal? Why did only she seem to see it? To hear it? And heavens above, she dared not move lest she be reminded by the trillions of textures underfoot, the scratchy grass prickling at her skin and the insects crawling up her back and the constant buzzing of the earth, the scent of the dew-stricken flowers gathering in her lungs until Dovepaw could _swear_ that daisies and snapdragons were growing inside her lungs and stealing away her air.

Nothing was normal. Not here. This was a literal hell. Everything was simultaneously hot and cold, and she could feel every emotion, every thought, every breath and movement for miles and it all came back to her; and like an outlet with too many plugs she buzzed on the brink of explosion.

"Dovepaw?" A voice called, and through the screech of the world she could hardly make out who's voice it was. Jerking her head back with a pained inhale, she caught sight of Jayfeather, giving him a desperate glare she knew he couldn't see. "It hurts," she croaked.

Jayfeather flicked an ear, confused. Perhaps she meant the other apprentices distancing themselves from her after the scene she caused, on edge by her behaviour. "What hurts?" He came forwards towards her trembling body. He could feel her shaking.

"Everything," Dovepaw breathed, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head hard, wanting to fling every sensation away from herself. " _Everything._ "

This was not any more explanatory - only raised more questions that undoubtedly ached to think about. With a soft inhale, he let himself wander into her thoughts, if only just to help her. 

Not a moment passed before a whirlwind of feelings grabbed hold of his body, and immediately he could feel _everything_ for miles. The lake a few paces away, from the ripple the breeze created to the pressure of the bottom and the constant movement by fish that were constantly moving, to the deafening roar of the stream nearby, to little mice's paws clicking and clacking against the smooth stone of the mountains. Jayfeather was blind - always tuned into his hearing and scent, but it was never as intense as _this._ It was a hellish take on his own perception multiplied by thousands. Everything was moving, everything was breathing - he could almost see the pulse of the earth. Anxiety ran straight to his core and he immediately dissociated back into his own body, and yet even still his heart was pounding against his chest.

_That_ is what hurt.

Jayfeather inhaled sharply, coming closer to the apprentice, who'd curled into herself pressing against her ears with both paws and tears gathering in the corner of her eyes but she'd refused to gasp for air and let them fall. Without word, Jayfeather grabbed at her scruff and hauled her up, much to her distress. He held her up, paws dangling as to not let her feel anything but his teeth latched in her skin as he scampered over into someplace he knew very, very well.

The tunnels.

He squeezed her in before following her in, and immediately she gasped for breath.

Everything dulled here. Like a tender numbness. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but it quieted everything but the sounds in here. The quiet dripping of a faraway puddle, and maybe the shuffling of paws against the smooth stone.

It was silent. Almost completely.

It took a moment for Dovepaw to readjust, but when she did, Jayfeather was at her side to steady her breath. Dovepaw stared at her paws with a confused disorientation, before she turned to Jayfeather.

His eyes. They looked as if a single drop of ink had fallen into a glass of milk, the colour swirling out into a blue swirl of promised tomorrows, and you could see the little bits of colours still moving. _drifting._ He smiled softly, though she could see the concern in his expression. "Does this usually happen to apprentices?" She squeaked, surprised at how small her voice was and just how dry and cracked it was. 

Jayfeather pitied her deeply. He hoped, if only a smidge, she'd find comfort in his embrace - though was too afraid to make any sudden movements, lest her senses go wild once more. The most he could do was slowly curl his tail around her tiny, shaking frame. He shook his head softly. "You're…" _special._ "..different." he pinned his ears - Jayfeather couldn't help but feel responsible - he was the one to fuck time. It probably messed with Dovepaw's genes on the way, too. Or something along those lines.

Dovepaw furrowed her brows, ears pressing back. "J-just me? Is Starclan punishing me?" She inhaled, her muscles tensing with anxiety. Jayfeather knew he had to say something - and quick. 

With a shaky breath, Jayfeather closed his eyes, nuzzling into his daughter. "Before I was born," he said, "Firestar had gotten a message from Starclan. A prophecy. One which promised three, kin of his kin, to hold the power of the stars in their paws." 

Jayfeather kept careful to keep his voice at a suitable volume, and it seemed to work; Dovepaw leaned against him, her cheek pressed against his shoulder and her paws splayed out, untensed. Her eyes were lidded as she listened to him, ears drooped. "Really?" She hummed quietly. Jayfeather nodded as he curled his tail around her to keep her close. "Really. Each cat would have a power that rivaled Starclan's." His tone seemed to trail off.

After a few passing moments, Jayfeather inhaled. "When _you_ were born, your mother had a dream of the same nature. _Her_ prophecy promised…" The medicine cat struggled to recall what exactly Half Moon's prophecy was. "Well," Jayfeather cleared his throat, and perhaps for just a moment he could hear the faint echos of Half Moon's words drifting through the cave like a vague memory. "That her three kits would have the same powers. I believe one of the powers described a cat who could see all, hear all, feel all."

Dovepaw perked her ears in worry. "Like me?" She squeaked hopelessly. Jayfeather nodded. "Like you. I promise I'll help you."

Dovepaw squeezes her eyes shut and nuzzled into Jayfeather again. "I just want a normal kithood." She muffled into his fur, and Jayfeather could do nothing but close his eyes along with hers.

"I promise you Dovepaw, you _will._ "


End file.
